Numero Group: By The Numbers

Eccentric Idol
April 1, 2011, 9:12 am
Filed under: Methodology

These are very strange times for The Numero Group. First there came the Grammy nomination for Light: On The South Side, followed by the breakout success of “You and Me” by Penny and the Quarters (which has recently been licensed by the Muzak corporation, so keep an ear open when you’re buying salmonella-tainted Skippy peanut butter!). Not only are we on Hollywood’s radar, but our emails are in its address books, and phone numbers in its iPhones. We’ve been getting all sorts of requests which we would have thought were pranks a year ago, but are now very real. When Eminem attempted to request permission to sample “The Quarrel” for his next album, we laughed. And then he showed up at our office for a tour.

We’re trying to keep ourselves grounded, and pretend like things haven’t changed for us, but there’s no denying they have. We now have a Pac-Man machine in the office, and if things go right we’ll be adding a Creature From The Black Lagoon pinball machine before summer. The big-time requests have gotten bigger and bigger. We’ve been very selective with who we’ve gotten into bed with, but straddling the line between label integrity and financial sustainability is difficult. We want to keep Numero putting out the quality product we do, and we also want the Group to earn a living wage. We also all want iPad2s. And nicer cars (do you know how embarrassing it is to go to a power meeting in a BMW?).

This is why we’ve taken up an offer which we just couldn’t refuse. How many of you watch American Idol? Too many, probably. How many years in a row have you seen your favorite Motown songs get raped by a group of wanna-be Dionne Warwicks and Barry Manilows? Every year. Well, based on the success of their first Motown night, they’ve decided to do a second one. (Un?)fortunately Motown has asked the producers of Idol for a lot more money than they have for previous “Motown Nights,” so to offset Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez’s absurd salaries the producers have decided to go on the cheap after hearing our Eccentric Soul catalog. That’s right, three weeks from next tuesday you’ll be hearing “Numero Night” on American Idol. We know it’s crass to talk about money, but we’re talking nearly seven digits here. It’s win-win as long as you watch the show with the sound off or not at all.

So what does this mean to you, the Numero Group fan? Probably nothing, except we’re contractually obligated to dig through Steve and Jenny’s vaults for a series of releases.  What’s next for us? We don’t know, but consider the bar raised. Speaking of bar, the carpenters are installing one in the bathroom right now.

9 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Creature From The Black Lagoon? Please.

Comment by DMC

April Fool!

Comment by James Mulholland

There’s no way you have space for a pinball machine in that office, unless you’ve gotten rid of the bathtub full of record mailers.

Comment by Brian

I will burn all my numero’s release while listening to some Exploited or Crass.. you traitors 😉

Are you planning an Eccentric Soul : The American Idols sessions LP ?

I would like to see Syl Johnson as a judge on that show.

Comment by Lg

As your first Numerophon artist (and a guilty pleasure Idol fan) I couldn’t be more thrilled for you. Please don’t lose your homey values!

xxoo Niela Miller

Comment by Niela Miller

How bizarrely awesome. Congrats, guys!

Comment by Lincoln

The first tip were the terms “Marshall Mathers” and “sampling” in the same sentence.

Comment by William


Comment by Charles

never watch Idol (except the auditions ha!), but this is super cool. while we’re talking guilty pleasures, i think Glee sings Numero would be a fantastic way to sell out and get some more sweet cars and/or arcade games too!

Comment by Matthew Hart

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: